November 2011.
A bustling Brick Lane and a good looking chap in a maroon leather jacket has my friend Red and I cornered. No he wasn't a mugger. It was much worse. He was an East London "film maker".
"...And what do you do?"
"I'm a blogger?"
Note the raised inflection (Thank you English degree). Red was unsure of herself but under the pressure of the question, she panicked. This seemed like the best route. Plus she really wanted to impress the "film maker"...in the maroon leather jacket.
"Ah cool, cool" he muttered in a mid Atlantic twang and went on to ask us both inane questions for what seemed a lifetime but in reality was just less than minute. I instantly regretted agreeing to appear on camera in case I inadvertently become famous via a new dramality series and this video appears on one of those "Before they were famous" shows and I was caught dancing like Boyzone:
Sorry.
For the remainder of our day she lamented the fact that she called herself a "blogger", often interchanging it with the word "tw*t".
In her defence she is in actual fact; a blogger. Not a tw*t.
It occurred to me though that although social networks are part of our everyday lives we struggle to talk about them in our actual lives. It's what Twitter calls a #firstworldproblem. At least I think it is I haven't been able to ask anyone about it in real life.
Badum Tish.
It's not Twitter that has a monopoly on this situation though. Once again Facebook comes up trumps. Nice one Zuckerberg. This is where the links, photos and statuses you post may make or break your cyber and real life reputation. See countless Daily Mail articles about silly employees who've lost their jobs.
But think about it, who hasn't deleted a casual acquaintance because they turned out to be a tad racist/sexist/homophobic (delete as appropriate) or indeed just posted too many dull status updates.
It's important to bear in mind though these people may confront you. And no one wants the "Why did you delete me off Facebook?" conversation.
I repeat; no one.
You can still talk about others' social networking faux pas though. Remember that time that girl posted 103 pictures of her posing provocatively with a necklace. That sounds way worse than it was.
But nevertheless still hilarious.
I'm just about overcoming my fear of talking about my social networking. That's not to say I didn't have few bumps along the way.
No, I learnt about this the hard way.
Once a girl looked at me as if I'd killed Dumbledore and confronted me about a Facebook note I had written. The next two minutes were excruciatingly painful as I explained that even though I'd posted that note on a public site; quite frankly it had nothing to with her. That was how I would have liked it to pan out but in reality I just apologised profusely.
And I'll also profess that my moody and atmospheric Movember photos I posted on my Facebook from last year were all in the name of charity.
Of course I'd be lying. I'm just a bit of a narcissist.
But from now on I've resolved to do my bit and genuinely give back. And I'll start by combating #firstworldproblems by talking about my social networking.
No need to thank me just doing my bit.
theguyinthebowtie
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