what i like about you

In the past couple of weeks a lot of my friend's have been discussing types.
It stands to reason that everyone's ideal choice of partner varies.

Sorry for stating the BLINDINGLY obvious but in my case it does vary from one week to the next.

This week it's Freida Pinto.


Just look at her.

O M Yes.

So whilst I've spent the last seven days waxing lyrical about all things Trishna. I've had to explain who Frieda is to certain people.

Yes we're on first name terms. Just don't mention Dev Patel.

This led to talking to someone I work with who I must mention are in their late teens. He succinctly described his type in three words. Quirky. 50s. Polka dot.
Now I know what he meant but I was still left somewhat perturbed by the inclusion of polka dot. But as I said his answer was succinct and to the point. Which is what succinct means.

So I took to my phone book and asked a cross section of my friends if they could describe their type in three words what would it be.

It sparked a flurry of...confusion.

Nearly all of them thought I was tricking them into revealing something about themselves that they weren't willing to share. So I begged and pleaded and on some occasions I sang Craig David's seminal classic "What's your flava?" in a bid to inspire them. Incidentally have you noticed how that's being featured on the walkers advert? For shame.



The answers came thick and fast when I promised anonymity. Many of the adjectives described physical attributes. I don't know if this is because I have incredibly shallow friends or if it's the way I worded the question.

When I challenged those who just gave physical attributes they seem unabashed. As if it hadn't occurred to them that personality may be an issue. Case in point Georgia Salpa.

The most popular attribute that wasn't regarding physical appearance was humour. The ladies love a tall good looking man who can make them laugh.

yeah I probably said" What do you mean me?" to several girls during these conversations. Oh how we laughed.

The guys weren't as specific. One person came back with simply "Living, Breathing, Female" Although does that mean she doesn't have to be conscious. Creepy.

Only one person said intelligence. That was a she.

But all in all the female of the species didn't vary that much from the male.

But like I said before perhaps I just have a cross section of vapid friends and I doubt my findings are going to have Oxbridge shaking in their well polished boots.

What I have found though is that the two most popular answers which are attractiveness and humour are incredibly subjective. So in reality I was no closer to finding a common answer. And I doubt just three words would get me any closer. It has given me a bit of leverage though.

theguyinthebowtie

is your life a sitcom?

The other day I was sat (I won't say where) contemplating about life the way that one does when they're on the loo.

It was at this point I realised that I have few years left in my life plan to fulfil a certain aspect of it. Yes I have life plan. And... You're not surprised.

This life plan was made at the tender age of 16 and it clearly stipulated that by the age of 27 my life would look a lot like this:



Although I'm nowhere closer to achieving living in the Big Apple with some very good looking friends and David Schwimmer. I did think that if someone stripped away the fourth wall of my lounge and placed a studio audience there: how many of the sitcom rules would I fulfil.

I know, totally post modern right?

So here are the rules:

The first and foremost is having a tight circle of friends. That's a given.

Preferably they should be good looking.

I don't make the rules I just write about them.

A tight circle of friends provides the tapestry for your sitcom. It gives you four or five varying personalities. Sometimes you piss each other off but most of the time you take the piss out of each other. Most importantly you find yourselves incredibly hilarious in the most normal of situations. Oh and I don't think it's a coincidence that family remains somewhat peripheral in all the good sitcoms.

On a side note it's helpful to have a loveable douche in your gang.



Secondly there has to be an element of love. Unrequited or the other kind.

Is that called requited?

Anyway ideally this is the kind of love that you're willing to chase through an airport for whilst something like The Guillemots "Made up Love Song #43" plays as you pound a city pavement.



Or you know something less specific.

I said it before and I'll say it again: "will they won't they's" are TV gold



Thirdly your environment has to be a character itself. If you're lacking a relatable or dynamic environment. Your life ain't no sitcom. #doublenegation

Cities help. Then on the behind the scenes commentary you can talk about how the city was like an additional character. I'm told people love this.

Rule number four is not so much a rule but adventures in life as well as sitcoms help.

Remember that time when? I know. Innit. Yeah. LOL.

See.


Road trips are easy solutions. But the audience is fickle and remember they like familiarity.



As I mentioned music is a massive, integral part to your sitcom life. *Turns down Alexandra Burke's "Elephant"*. It lets you know when you're about to be heartbroken.

Or it just plain cheers you up...it's a key signifier and can map out your past.

Sometime I like to pretend that my keyboard is a piano.

So is your job a joke? Are you broke and is your love life D.O.A.?


theguyinthebowtie